What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills.
I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target.
I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet?

Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.
Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

Y-You too...

You should log out of your account before letting your little brother borrow your computer.

Wow... Your cereal really is spiked :P

Cry havoc and release the Donkey Kongs?

I was wondering recently how many threats online like "I'm tracing your IP" actually result in something....

how exactly do you "Trace" someone's IP anyway?

It is Guerrilla warfare not gorilla warfare.

This is gorilla warfare.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ytjoB_NHFZ8/TThC6dJF0SI/AAAAAAAAAAc/D3YMhGoBYAA/s1600/article-1132389-033E42C1000005DC-814_468x405.jpg

You are still bad ass if you really are trained in gorilla warfare though.

http://shirtoid.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/gorilla-warfare.jpg Nice Muzzle Flare.

What in Davy Jones' locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I'll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I've led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o' swag. I'll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o' pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o' monsoon that'll wipe ye off the map. You're sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o'er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o' the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I'll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o' the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn't, ye didn't, and now ye'll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I'll shit fury all over ye and ye'll drown in the depths o' it. You're fish food now

The simplest and usual approach is addressing the administrator/support/whatever of the service where you encountered something you consider worth tracking as they have a log with the IPs they've been connected from. However, to get a name and address from the IP you have to approach the still anonymous guy's internet provider (which depending on the country is impossible to achieve by a regular person - especially when the reason is something as trivial as trolling etc.).

What in tarnation did you just say about me hombre? I’ll have you reckon I learn’t me real good in the old west, and I’ve been on more prairies hogtyin me heathens than you know bout buddy. I done wrastled me up 300 scoundrels, and I know how to use this here 6 shooter everwhich way! Im sheriff in these here parts, Consarnit! You ain’t nothin to me but another dagnum yellabelly. I’ll clean your clock rightfast, and you won’t reckon what hit ya, now you listen good, you think you can come round here and tell me whatfer? Well you better think again damn it, right as we speak my possie is closing in, tracking your there computer all across this here frontier. And you better git while the gittins good. Yesir, you better amscre compdre, fore were forced ta get mean, or you’ll be six feet under by sunup. Yesir now we can duel like gentlemen or I can use ol’betsy here to shoot the smile right off yer face 6 ,9 to 1 ways from sunday. Not only do I have with me here these pistols but being law and order round here i got me a whole heep o’ guns and I’ll use em if need be. I think if you only knew what snakes you were winding up, youda came wearing gloves partner. But ya could’t, ya didn’t and now mister, you’re gonna pay the price dag-gumit, It’s gona be raining bullets like cats and dogs all over here in a minute. You’re a goner partner.

Looks like the US are going to war, again!

"I swear on my mother's mating name."
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Bwahahahahaaa!
Yeah... a gorilla war. It's gonna be one ugly mess...

And remember folks, always choose the right sauce for your copypasta!

Heinz, It's Automatic.

The shit's really gonna fly.

teeheehee