v.dog: GLaDOS has the best lines:
While safety is one of many Enrichment Center goals, the Aperture Science High Energy Pellet, seen to the left of the chamber, can and has caused permanent disabilities such as vaporization.
Audible warning devices are required on all mobile equipment. However, alarms and flashing hazard lights have been found to agitate the high energy pellet and have therefore been disabled for your safety.
The Enrichment Center is committed to the well being of all participants.
Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test.
Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science self esteem fund for girls? It's true!
The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.
Although the euthanizing process is remarkably painful, eight out of ten Aperture Science engineers believe that the Companion Cube is most likely incapable of feeling much pain.
Place the device on the ground then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides.
A party associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party.
Assume the party escort submission position or you will miss the party.
Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said 'Goodbye' and you were like 'no way' and then I was all 'I was just pretending to murder you'? That was great!
There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to.
"I invited your best friend the companion cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him.
All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikable you are.
It says so right here in your personnel file: Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner who's passing shall not be mourned.
'Shall not be mourned.' That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official.
It also says you were adopted. So that's funny, too.
Good one. I didn't remember how good Glado's quotes were.