Banned for not bringing your wizard license with you.

Banned because you only own half of the certificate of ownership of your bracelet. That's not legal enough to prove that you're the rightful owner.

Banned for vandalizing windmills.

Banned because the previous user had a license to blow down said windmills, in order to create building space.

Banned for weird science'ing women.

Banned because dealing with women, is an entire science in and by itself, requires employment of scientific methods and last but not least, constant experiments and close observation of subsequent results. Proper equipment, safety measures, protective suit and careful disinfecting before and after contact and lab sessions, is heavily advised.

Banned for falsely claiming to be a king.

Banned for implying that all women have gonorrhea.

EDIT: Banned for interrupting me!

Banned for being interrupted

Banned because that wasn't my fault.

Banned for refusing to man up.

Banned for refusing to take the King Lou Lou Man Up Challenge at Zippy's Giant Burgers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZArPIiv9q7U

Banned for not zipping it.

Banned because velcro is better than a zip in almost no circumstances.

Banned because Velcro sounds like a Transformer robot.