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General discussionThis is why you don't come to Australia(73 posts)(73 posts)
(73 posts)
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This is my favourite topic
Posted April 07, 2017
low rated
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tinyE: A parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go!
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bad_fur_day1: Feel free to die however you want.
I didn't know you felt that way about me. :P

I guess I'll leave the thread then.
Posted April 07, 2017
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bad_fur_day1: Anyone who swims in the ocean with monsters is nuts in my opinion.
Better than swimming in a pool with all the people urinating and their sweaty bum cracks, ewww.

Speaking of sweaty bum cracks, I reckon being suffocated by one would also be tortuous.

You'd be gasping for breath but you don't want to open your mouth or inhale, give me a shark attack any day.
Posted April 07, 2017
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bad_fur_day1: Anyone who swims in the ocean with monsters is nuts in my opinion.
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Kleetus: Better than swimming in a pool with all the people urinating and their sweaty bum cracks, ewww.

Speaking of sweaty bum cracks, I reckon being suffocated by one would also be tortuous.

You'd be gasping for breath but you don't want to open your mouth or inhale, give me a shark attack any day.
Death by flying sumo?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNIfKjCEPq4
Posted April 07, 2017
I'm 38 this year and never had so much as a bee sting.

I still feel compelled to post a link to this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdihHnaOQsk
Post edited April 07, 2017 by ReynardFox
Posted April 10, 2017
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ReynardFox: I'm 38 this year and never had so much as a bee sting.

I still feel compelled to post a link to this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdihHnaOQsk
I have been nipped by a nipper
spiked by a flathead
sliced by a bream
pricked by a prawn
chomped by a lizard
crunched by a yabby
kicked by a horse
rammed by a goat
thrown from a horse
stung by a bee
drilled by mosquitoes
Green ant bites - ouch!
accidentally darted
Accidentally pellet gunned
Attacked by a rooster
chased by a tiger snake
Nabbed by gnats
Tapped by ticks
Sucked by leeches
Stung by jellyfish


All of the above included in my legendary childhood in Australia which i would not change one bit!

The fiercest animals i ever encountered was when i moved from the country to a city high school and got bullied to the point of suicide - nothing more deadly on this planet than teenagers!
Posted April 10, 2017
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mystikmind2000: I have been nipped by a nipper
spiked by a flathead
sliced by a bream
pricked by a prawn
chomped by a lizard
crunched by a yabby
kicked by a horse
rammed by a goat
thrown from a horse
stung by a bee
drilled by mosquitoes
Green ant bites - ouch!
accidentally darted
Accidentally pellet gunned
Attacked by a rooster
chased by a tiger snake
Nabbed by gnats
Tapped by ticks
Sucked by leeches
Stung by jellyfish
I have been propositioned by a prostitute, try saying that 3 times quickly with your mouth full.
Posted April 10, 2017
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Kleetus: I have been propositioned by a prostitute, try saying that 3 times quickly with your mouth full.
Who's mouth was full? Yours or hers?? hehehehe

But that's nothing, i have even been propositioned by a prostitute with my girlfriend standing beside me! Pretty normal these days.
Posted April 10, 2017
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mystikmind2000: i have even been propositioned by a prostitute with my girlfriend standing beside me!
I dated a stripper and a prostitute once, not as good as you would think.

Plus I never wanted to go out anywhere with her in case someone recognised her, and my friends kept asking me if I could get them a discount, mates rates.
Posted April 10, 2017
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mystikmind2000: i have even been propositioned by a prostitute with my girlfriend standing beside me!
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Kleetus: I dated a stripper and a prostitute once, not as good as you would think.

Plus I never wanted to go out anywhere with her in case someone recognised her, and my friends kept asking me if I could get them a discount, mates rates.
Very good in fantasy, not so good in reality - it can be said of way too much in life! lol
Posted April 10, 2017
Why I don't come to Australia? It is too far from everywhere, even from Australia itself.

I find it funny how paranoid Australians are if you try to bring a bag of peanuts or a banana to their soil like it is very dangerous to their flora and fauna, like a koala eating the peanuts and becoming berzerk or something. (Yes I've seen the Australian border control TV show.) They should be more concerned that their venomous spiders, snakes, bats and sharks don't get out of Australia! I am even more scared of those things than I am of Aussies themselves.

BTW, koalas are like ducks. They seem so cute and all, but when it comes to sex, they are quite violent rapists. I am not kidding you, google for "koala porn" or something like that.
Post edited April 10, 2017 by timppu
Posted April 10, 2017
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timppu: I find it funny how paranoid Australians are if you try to bring a bag of peanuts or a banana to their soil like it is very dangerous to their flora and fauna
We only do that to Finns, they try to smuggle in walrus and reindeer.
Posted April 10, 2017
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timppu: Why I don't come to Australia? It is too far from everywhere, even from Australia itself.

I find it funny how paranoid Australians are if you try to bring a bag of peanuts or a banana to their soil like it is very dangerous to their flora and fauna, like a koala eating the peanuts and becoming berzerk or something. (Yes I've seen the Australian border control TV show.) They should be more concerned that their venomous spiders, snakes, bats and sharks don't get out of Australia! I am even more scared of those things than I am of Aussies themselves.

BTW, koalas are like ducks. They seem so cute and all, but when it comes to sex, they are quite violent rapists. I am not kidding you, google for "koala porn" or something like that.
Certain things are frowned on,even budgie smugglers.
Posted April 11, 2017
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timppu: Why I don't come to Australia? It is too far from everywhere, even from Australia itself.

I find it funny how paranoid Australians are if you try to bring a bag of peanuts or a banana to their soil like it is very dangerous to their flora and fauna, like a koala eating the peanuts and becoming berzerk or something. (Yes I've seen the Australian border control TV show.) They should be more concerned that their venomous spiders, snakes, bats and sharks don't get out of Australia! I am even more scared of those things than I am of Aussies themselves.

BTW, koalas are like ducks. They seem so cute and all, but when it comes to sex, they are quite violent rapists. I am not kidding you, google for "koala porn" or something like that.
Its not paranoia, its bureaucracy.

Our Bureaucratic system even puts the Vorlons of Hitchickers guide to the galaxy to shame!

Also our state religion is the 'nanny state' of all nanny states - if its in any way dangerous, we have thought of ways of regulating it or banning it to death..... frankly i am surprised we are still allowed to go outside our homes!!!

If in the future you see a person walking down the street padded with pillows, blinking lights, helmet, life jacket and EPERP hanging off them, you can be sure that is an Australian! We have gone Fuxxing safety mad down here, SERIOUSLY.

Common sense and freedom are two concepts long forgotten down here in Australia.

https://www.thechronicle.com.au/news/council-officers-sink-pool-plans-1000-application-/2473933/

http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/10-ways-sydneysiders-will-break-the-law-today--without-even-realising-20151007-gk3dsy.html

http://www.traveller.com.au/australia-the-land-of-the-idiot-gi36oy
Post edited April 11, 2017 by mystikmind2000
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This is my favourite topic
Community
General discussionThis is why you don't come to Australia(73 posts)(73 posts)
(73 posts)