Started normal, early middle was like sinking in quicksand, the late middle of it was fun in a "town lolcatting" way :) and would have been more fun if I wasn't so gosh darn sleep deprived.
By the end it was more duty keeping me around, Ninja's flip in particular affected me I think.

It's like... someone in observer thread said something about performance art or cry for help. Truth is probably a bit of both, but with nuance. The performance art was of course sourced in real, amped up, insights / feelings (and you can imagine how pleased I was thinking that you guys knew about ZFR's play in the Secret Hitler game and how that would be screwing your expectations). The cry for help was introspective and I honestly only realized that motivation to challenge myself while already in the game.

Won't bore you with personal details, but will add on the "cry for help" that this was first time I actually felt / experienced how difficult it is to try and lead such a divided group. Usually - by which I mean professionally or in family contexts - I just cynically shrug it off, or lean on individualized approaches (rather impossible in this case since I lacked the knowledge of the characters + some of them changed in the middle). Also in such contexts there is normally not a manipulative "devilish" will, just a lot of clashing egos.

Overall, I was not really in it for fun. For fun I'd stick to IRL games or playing here with you all :)

Good to know. Some of the vibes I got from that place were super toxic, to use the modern lingo. In fairness it's the familiar "neutral platform" conceit that other content providers like Youtube or... the internet in general actually... also leverage. Wash hands off from individual behavior while incentivising said behavior. It's a topic I am conflicted on, the paternalism (protective care, compromised growth, dissolution in the group and belonging) vs emancipation (abdication of responsibility, declaring independence, individual growth and reinvention) conflict touches on too much from religion to politics to parenthood. Which come to think of it, is another insight into my "mid-life crisis": becoming a parent is making me re-evaluate / compromise deeply help values and principles, which have guided me in life so far.

Going to process this now. :)