Fortunately, the teleporter is still in order.

Unfortunately, the teleporter, while convenient, has a 50/50 chance at turning whatever goes through it into abstract art.

Fortunately, that abstract art is so abstract that it can be a living person while still being abstract.

Unfortunately, not many people are fond of living art.

Fortunately many arts are fond of living people.

Unfortunately, it seems to be a 1-sided relationship. (Or is that 2 sides too many?)

The thread seems to have died a bit, so let's pick things up again with a new starter:

Today, I went to the bank.

Unfortunately, the bank is closed.

Fortunately, I can always use the ATM.

Unfortunately, that ATM has been hacked: Anytime it is used, it steals the credit card number, which is then used to commit fraud.

(This actually is a real issue. See:
http://krebsonsecurity.com/all-about-skimmers/
)

Fortunately, I, as the Puzzlemaster, can easily avoid such scams. In this case, by removing the skimmer.

Unfortunately, now that the skimmer has been removed, there is no place to put your credit card, so the ATM is useless.

Fortunately, I can at least draw numbers off the skimmer.

Unfortunately, it turns out that one of the numbers was that of a police officer doing an undercover operation, and as a result, you are convicted of credit card fraud and thrown into jail.

Fortunately, as the Puzzlemaster, I've played enough escape-the-room games to make a jailbreak.